Bard in Blood: The mysterious murder of Christopher Marlowe.

This week, we delve into the life and baffling death of Christopher Marlowe, Elizabethan playwright, suspected spy, and Deptford's most controversial tavern guest. From his ground-breaking plays like Dr Faustus to the rumoured espionage and heretical whispers that surrounded his life, Marlowe was nothing if not intriguing. But was his death really just an overreaction to splitting the bill (or as we now call it, “The Reckoning”), or was there something far more sinister afoot?

Rach and Han chat through the many theories—from political assassinations to espionage gone awry, and even the wild suggestion that Marlowe faked his own death and moonlit as Shakespeare. Naturally, there’s some side-questing into pubs that stood the test of time, why Deptford will always be iconic, and how to ensure your friends don’t murder you over mozzarella sticks.

Pour yourself a drink, settle in, and join us for this romp through history.

Edited and produced by Purple Waves Sound (Aka Will). 

Thanks for tuning in! If you loved diving into the dark corners of South London with us, don't forget to hit that subscribe button to never miss an episode of "Sinister South."

Also, follow us on Instagram @SinisterSouthPodcast for sneak peeks, behind-the-scenes content, and more cheeky banter, or www.sinistersouthpod.co.uk. Remember, every crime tells a story... and South is the best side of the river...

Produced and hosted by Hannah Williams & Rachel Baines
Mixed & edited by Purple Waves Sound (A.K.A Will)

Transcript

Christopher Marlowe - V2

Hello. Hi. I'm Rachel.

I'm Hannah. And this is Sinister South, a podcast all about true crime and nefarious activities happening there for the river. Indeed.

Indeed. How you doing, love? I'm all good, babes. I'm all good.

Good. Yeah. How are you? I've got a headache, but it's fine.

The ibuprofen and the paracetamol will kick in at any point. I'm sure. Yeah, there's not been a huge amount going on.

I've just been like getting back into the rhythm of work and shit. Yeah. And all of that nonsense.

It's that kind of, what did I say to, is it yesterday? Like these kind of the first two, three weeks of January always feel like the acceleration lane. The slip road, yeah. Or like the slip road.

Treat it like a slip road for the month. Forget onto the motorway. It's like a hundred percent stealing that, like that a lot.

Oh yeah. There's been a few things that people have said to me this week that I'm like, I must, I must put that somewhere. Oh no, are you having tattoo ideas? Okay.

No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm listening to nothing but the infant and sons and I immediately need some tattoos. I need this on my eyeball.

Uh, yeah. I think we've spoken about it. I think we have.

Yeah. Yeah. No, uh, it was something that we spoke about in that call earlier today.

Someone said something and I was like, Oh, I need that. And then they went, I wrote it down first, actually. And I actually missed what it was.

They said, Oh, it was really good. It was something to do with my, like the business or something. But like, I was like, Oh, I'm going to put that on my website.

But I'm sure the person would, if they have written it down, I think they listen. Oh, if you're there, can I, can you just remind me what that really, really good thing, insightful thing you said was and can Rachel have it? Can I, can I please put it on my website? Um, yeah, no. So just sort of like work and getting into, getting into everything.

And it is, it's just like, I was so ready to come back after Christmas. I was like, right, my brain is rotting now. I've done enough of lounging around in bed, eating my body weight in chocolate and watching absolute nonsense on the television.

That was wonderful. Uh, but I'm ready. I'm ready for it.

I'm back on it. And I've just been a bit like, Oh, there's, there's just, what, who am I? Where does this go? How does that work? I just, yeah, she's been a bit mad. You'll get there.

I was, I'm definitely like, for all my processations about being, I'm a, I'm a wild child. I'm a free spirit. I fucking thrive in routine.

Yeah. Yeah. So I know, I go to work, I do my steps, I have my dinner, I sit down, I go to bed, I get up, I go to work and I'm like, Oh, my brain is quieter.

Ah, yes, yes, yes. Oh, everything's okay now. I see.

To be fair though, I'm, I'm a bit like, I like routine. I just struggle once I've been out of it to get back to, to get back in. Yeah.

Well, it's mainly just because I sort of, it's like when I turn off, which isn't very often, but when like I properly switch off and I'm not thinking about anything, it is pure, like, like everything just downstools. Yeah. Well, that's why you always get ill.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

But then it's, then trying to get back up to it. It's like the anxiety part of my brain just goes, Oh, okay, we're back online, have everything. And then just no human.

But actually the rest of it hasn't come back up as well. No human can actually deal with the amount that my own brain forces to the forefront at any one time. So yeah, but it'd be fine.

How are you? Yeah, I'm good. I'm good. I, a bit the same, to be honest, not a lot to report, which makes this section of the pod fucking dull, but I have a, I have some beef with a paving slab.

Oh, so that's information. What's going on with the paving slab? So I don't, I'm sure I've spoken about it. If not, whatever.

I kind of, I think it was like April last year, March, April last year, I was like, I'm going to, I'm going to start walking more. Yeah. And I set myself a bit of a target and I ramped up to, I'm going to get 10,000 steps a day, no matter what.

Yeah. And it's kind of, you've done pretty well on that. I mean, I, I've missed like, I think from April till now, or maybe June, June till now, I've missed like three days in total where I've not done it.

Yeah. And I'm actually kind of averaging more 11 and a half, 12K steps. Yeah.

I mean, it's just, I, I love it, but I have kind of set routes from the flat, kind of around the area and back again. And, or I could go that way and do this bit of the area and back again. But there's the first part of when I leave the flat that I always do.

And it's about a thousand steps, kind of a big loop around and there's, it's hard and dull to explain in full, but basically there's, there's the main road, then my road, then another road, then another road, then the other main road. Yeah. And between the two middle roads, not mine, there are kind of half roads in between them as well.

So you can basically do a figure eight around them. So I do a big loop around at first, the whole thing, then I kind of, I get smaller and then do the figure eight at the end and then I'll go in whichever direction I'm going to go in. Fine.

One part of this figure eight, there is a paving slab that is raised. I mean, the whole paving, the pavements around me are treacherous at best. None of them are uniform.

No. It's, yeah, someone, a psychopath designed the paths. They are psycho parts.

Yeah. If you will. But this one, this one paving slab, I don't know, every fucking day catches me out and I do that little trip thing.

And it's at the busiest point. So it's where the most cars can see me as they drive past. And I'm always like bright red.

And then I get hot immediately. No matter what the temperature is, because I'm like, oh my God, I'm bison. People are perceiving me as someone that can stand up.

Oh my God. Do you ever do it though, when you do trip? The way that I've stopped myself from feeling embarrassed if I trip over is to just laugh at myself before anyone else comes off. Oh yeah.

Yeah. All right. But no, no, no, but not during my life, right? No, but not just like a small little chortle, not like a proper... So then, if anyone is even thinking about it or not, she's fucking mad.

But I was just like, even, I did it yesterday. And even as I left my front door, I thought, look out for that paving slab. Don't fucking, did I? No, you get too much into like your thoughts.

Oh my God. And I'm in a podcast routine that really dictates the quality and speed of the walk. I could tell you that if I'm listening to my therapist ghosted me or Ellis James and John Robbins, I walk at the speed of light.

And I think it must be because I'm laughing. Yeah. Especially recently with Ellis and John, the fucking quality of that podcast has been incredible the last few weeks.

And I literally could do like, oh, I've done 10k. Not just 10,000 steps, but actually 10 kilometers as well. Or then I've been listening to... Look, I love True Crime, obviously.

And I really enjoyed Kill List at the beginning. Yeah. Why is it still going on? Why is it still going on? Is he going to go through every single person on the list? I think so.

And every episode there's more and more advertising. Anyway, not bitter. There may be a small advert on this one.

It depends on if they accept the... They approve the placement. Yeah. But like if I'm listening to something like that or something a bit heavy or really hard hitting, I'm like, oh, I did 10,000 steps, but I barely... I did about five and a half kilometers.

Kilometers. Just like, oh no. Just trudge, trudge, trudge, death, death, death.

So that's a metaphor for life. Love it. Oh dear.

Other than, yeah, walking and working. Walking and working. There's not a tremendous amount going on.

I've started the new year with my... I don't know if I mentioned this last time, with my festive kind of... The festive hangover for me is that I normally do this when I've got downtime, is I'll be like, do you know that well renowned famous TV program that everybody's adored and I've never seen. Right. I'm going to watch it.

I did it once with the Sopranos, did it with The Wire, did it with Game of Thrones. Like, right. I'm going to watch this now.

I did it with this and I'm still going. Only Fools and Horses. It's fucking amazing.

The early seasons are just genius. And I mean, yes. Homophobic.

Yes. Very fatphobic. Yes.

Sexist. Yes. Quite racist in points, but not as bad as you think it might be with the racism stuff.

Yes. But of its time and not necessarily... It's hard to explain, but if I say not necessarily punching down, it's just you wouldn't say that anymore, but it's not... It's not a term one would use, but it's not like you wouldn't... Belittling or... Kind of. It's not... It doesn't feel malicious.

Okay. It just feels like kind of of its time of what people probably would have... Like, they talk about someone being gay. Well, you're not gay, are you? As if it's bad.

But like, not... It's not like, because all gays should die, kind of thing. But we've said that ourselves. Like, we used to use the word gay in it.

Yeah. Shut up. I hate us for that.

I know. I mean, again, we are of a generation. We are learning.

We are being better. But yes. And that's cool.

So yeah. And I just think it's... Yeah. There's genius in it.

I just think that... I used to watch Only Fools and Horses when I was a kid. I think, probably because my parents were watching it. But it's like, I know all of the classics.

Yeah. That's exactly what I went into it with, being like, I know Only Fools through the bar and I know Batman and Robin and I know the chandelier. Like, triggers broom.

But actually, there's so much more kind of really overt and really subtle humour in it all the way through. Okay. I might have to give it a whirl.

We've been rewatching Friends with the Kids, which I've found really funny because I forget how much they talk about sex in that show. So now I've had to explain what it is to the big one because she kept asking me. And yeah.

What did you say? Disgusting. Don't know. I stuck with the biological explanation of this is how one makes a child.

And then I did, I started to try and work, but like, you know, but sometimes because it's just, it can feel quite nice. And she was like, it does not feel, it can't feel nice for somebody to put a body part that doesn't belong to them inside them. I was like, okay, fair.

So yeah. So I think I've kind of like quashed that conversation for a bit. Have fun there.

Yeah. But no, it was quite amusing watching that. And what I loved though, was watching it with them and watching them laugh at the same bits.

I remember absolutely wetting myself over when I was a kid. So like we've just finished, we've just finished it all. But in season 10, when Joey goes on the game show, it's like a ghost, a fridge, a ghost, paper, snow, a ghost.

And the girls, absolutely. The big one was just like crying with laughter. Exactly the same when Joey does the whole, there's a lost and found my shoe, which just took me back to being nine with my younger sister and absolutely crying with laughter over it.

So that was quite sweet. There's like, I think both Matthew Perry and David Schwimmer are hugely underrated physical comedians as well. Yeah.

As well as the writing being fucking banging. Actually, the physical comedy of friends is just perfection in points. I just think it's, there is parts of it that, yeah, a hundred percent agree.

And it's that one that has been doing the rounds on the internet, but the bit where Jennifer Aniston completely corpses, when Lisa Kudrow is, uh, he gets, you know, it's singing along to the bagpipes. I mean, but I've, my favorite, this is just gonna become a friends podcast, but um, my favorite ever, like small moment is when Christina Applegate's in as Rachel's sister, the one that can't get the baby's name, right? Oh, Emmett. Emmett, Emily.

It's like Emma. And then she thinks Phoebe is called Emma. So every time they say Emma, she's like, Emma, they're talking to you.

And she keeps going Phoebe. And then she just goes, at one point she goes, Emma, Ross is talking to you and goes, Phoebe. And she just looks, why does she keep making that weird noise? And honestly, I don't know.

When I first saw that, it was the most, the funniest thing I'd ever, I'd ever seen. It is bloody good. Like, I just love the fact that she thinks that Ross is a falafel star.

You put holes in my baby. Yeah. But going back to your point about David Schwimmer being a very funny physical actor, like comedic actor, it just absolutely makes me die thinking back to not that long ago when there was that bloke who was called shoplifting that looks exactly like it.

And he then recreated it. It's like, yes, David Schwimmer. But yeah, there we go.

We've done a little foray. There we go. You've now heard everything that was on our brains, which was quite random.

Hans got a vendetta against a paving slab and we like to watch old. I promise between now and when we next record, I will have a drunken escapade or something to talk about because we can't, and there's barrel scraping and then there's looking at the barrel from afar and wondering what's at the bottom of it. And that's kind of where we've got to here, I think.

I absolutely love it. There'll be people who are properly here for the chat about the figure of eight. And then in the back of my mind, I was thinking, I hope I haven't given away where I live.

Oh no, well, you'll make a fan come stalking, Hannah. You call him Richard. You literally ask him to come home sometimes.

It's the figure of eight with the woggy paving slab. Obviously we all know where that is. In between the two big main roads in South London.

That's it. I've given it away now. What if the controversy was that actually I'm from West London? I feel like if you'd been able to keep that from me for the amount of time.

Why does it always take Hannah so long to get here? She's like 10 minutes away. I must admit when you moved out of South London for that god-awful period. Are you talking about lockdown babe? Yeah, because that's when it was.

But there was a hangover of it. We were allowed to see each other and you were still not on the right side of the river and it was very upsetting. I was living my East London life.

Yeah, I'm glad you got that, I used to stay here. Me too. You're telling me a story today.

I am and it's a mad one. I say fun. There is death in it.

But there's also fun in it. Nice. And just randomness and a bit of side-questing.

That's what we love. I feel like that should be our thing. Every episode we should try and get at least one side-questing.

Not with the one I'm writing for next time it's my turn, love. There's no fucking side-questing that. We've just got to grit our teeth and get through that one.

Yeah, it does. Okay, fine. So, full disclosure to the listeners.

Trev's, this isn't the case I was meant to do. And I started the case that will be my next one. But I didn't have that long to do it.

I was like, I literally can't rush this. Not because there isn't enough information or I'm going to have to do deep diving or anything. I will do that anyway.

But it's so fucking harrowing that I can write about a paragraph and then I have to stop. I must admit, when we were picking the cases for this season and you were like, yeah, I'll do that one. And I'd put it on the list because I'd seen it somewhere and I was like, I recognise the name but I don't know why I recognise it.

And then I looked it up to get photos to put on the website and then was like, now I remember it. Now I know why she didn't want to rush. Okay.

I can't be immersed in that for long. No, no, no. So we've gone for a bit more of a romp this time.

It's more rompy. Yeah. There's a bit more traversing random things.

Nice. Rather than just like fucking dead kids. Don't do that.

Don't fuck the dead kids. It was grammatical, not action. Jesus Christ.

Anyway, as usual, all the references have been shown notes. Rachel, we're powering through. I'm so sorry.

That was brilliant. Not brilliant, but you know what I mean. Brilliant when you fuck those dead kids.

You're making me do my muttly laugh. You've got to stop it. It's not my fault.

Stop being such a hoot. Okay. So, actually, my wonderful friend, and I did ask her, if I can name check her, sorry.

Sorry suggested this case to me when I first told her the premise of the podcast and that me and you were doing this. Oh, nice. She was like, oh, you should do this one because he's buried here, spoiler alert, in Deptford.

So I was like, oh, and I hadn't, the more I researched it, the more I was like, oh, I have heard this name before, but hadn't really, it hadn't clicked at all at the time. I just put it on the list and was like, whatever, Cole. So yeah, I'm rather apologetic that it's taken this long to get to it.

Season two, mate. And who knows, it might be the only episode Si listens to. I doubt that.

At least we can say that there is a reason for her to listen. There we go. Hi, Si.

Hi, babe. Hurry up and come home from wherever it is you are. I know.

Absolutely outrageous behavior abandoning me like this. Three week long holidays. Four weeks.

Bloody cheek of it. Anyway, sorry. Also, yeah.

When else am I going to get to tell you? Because I'll forget and then we won't gossip off there. She messaged, I messaged her around Christmasy, kind of New Year time. She'd be like, are you having fun? Like, blah, blah, blah, having a good time.

And she was like, oh, me and her and our other half have made friends with another couple. And blah, blah, blah. And I literally was like, she's like, are you hissing like an angry cat? She went, don't worry.

She's not as fun as you. And good girl. Good girl friends.

Make new friends. Today we're talking about Christopher Marlowe. So Christopher Marlowe was a towering figure of Elizabethan England who reshaped the world of English drama in his brief but tumultuous life.

Known for his pioneering use of the English language and unflinching exploration of ambition, morality and power. Marlowe's works like Dr Faustus and Tam Burelaine. I think.

Tam. T-A-M-B-U-R-L-A-I-N-A. Yeah, I think I studied it at school or at uni.

I can't remember how you pronounce it. Okay, but yeah, anyway, I didn't know we did Dr Faustus though. But earned him both fame and infamy was the end of that sentence.

Beyond the stage, his life was shrouded in controversy marked by allegations of espionage, heresy and connections to political intrigue. His untimely death at the age of 29 in a Deptford Tavern remains one of history's great mysteries, leaving behind questions about assassinations, conspiracies and the enduring legacy of a man who was considered a genius. We're going proper far back there, Elizabethan.

Oh yeah. 15 something or whatever. Nice.

Christopher Marlowe was born in Canterbury in February of 1564. The same year as Shakespeare. The son of John Marlowe, a shoemaker and his wife Catherine, Christopher was one of several children in the family.

He grew up in a thriving and diverse city, renowned for its cathedral and its role as a centre of religious authority. Marlowe attended the King's School Canterbury, a prestigious institution that offered a rigorous curriculum rooted in the classics. I think it's still there, you know.

I think so. Here he displayed an exceptional aptitude for Latin rhetoric and literature, subjects that would prove instrumental in his later career as a playwright and poet. What would one class as rhetoric as a subject? What is rhetoric? Yeah, maybe.

That's one to ponder. Sorry, carry on. The school's connection to the cathedral also exposed Marlowe to the grandeur of religious and theatrical pageantry, planting the seeds of his fascination with performance and spectacle.

In 1580, Marlowe was awarded a scholarship to Corpus Christi College, Cambridge, where he pursued higher education in theology and the liberal arts. The scholarship, funded by the Archbishop of Canterbury, typically required recipients to enter the clergy upon graduation. However, Marlowe's academic journey took an unconventional turn.

Despite earning his bachelor's degree in 1584, and later embarking on a master's programme, there were a few, shall we say, causes for concern that jeopardised his entire university career. We'll come back to it, don't worry. During his time at Cambridge, Marlowe was exposed to the intellectual ferment of the Renaissance.

He studied the works of classical philosophers and playwrights, which instilled in him a bold questioning spirit. His education also introduced him to humanist principles, emphasising the value of critical thinking and the potential of the individual. These ideas would later permeate his dramatic works, often challenging societal norms and religious orthodoxy.

So he was basically the webel of... He was a webel. He was a webel of the playwriting circles. Can I just interrupt very quickly? Depends what you're going to say.

No, no, no. I always find it... I don't know if the listeners know. I'm a bit of a history geek.

But the thing that's always baffled my brain, right, is like 1560, whatever. The world was very different, right? Who's going to university? And yet so many people do. But it's a bit like, well, shouldn't you, like, your mum's dying of people like plague.

Like, why are you suddenly studying classics? And like, it just absolutely baffles my brain. I mean, I'm sure you could probably say the same about 2025. Like, the world is literally, not even figurative, literally on fire.

Why are we learning about the art? True, but I just think that like, I think because it just feels like it was such a... Like, yeah, it's just such an entirely different world that like, the concept of, oh, well, you are privileged enough. I don't know that it's still a privilege to go to university, but like, you're privileged enough to go to university when like, everyone else is throwing shit out of a top window because there's no indoor plumbing. Yeah, but that was normal.

Yeah, I know, but it just feels weird. You're always a climber. It feels weird to you.

Yeah, that's what exactly what I'm saying. Because you don't throw your shit out of a window normally. Unless I'm very drunk.

But no, no, no, but that's what I'm saying. I just, it's one of those things where I'm just like, oh, okay, everyone was either in the church or at university. That was the only two things that you could do.

But I also completely screw in my head when I think about the fact that in Canterbury in 1560, like what was happening there, and it probably was quite smelly, and it was probably quite like people shoving shit out of windows. And then you go to somewhere like Japan in the same year and they've, oh, they've just built this wonderful house that's got a floor that each step makes a different sound so that you can see if they're intruders. What? How are those two things happening in the same space? The same time continuum.

It's just bizarre. Anyway, sorry, I'll stop there. But Marlowe's years at Cambridge provided not only an academic foundation, but also connections to a network of influential figures.

Fellow students and mentors included individuals who would go on to play significant roles in politics, literature, and the church. Among his contemporaries were notable figures like Robert Green, Thomas Nash, and Thomas Kidd, who had become leading playwrights and pamphleteers of their time. Side quest! All the hell is a pamphleteer? So I'm expecting Rach to know this inside out, but I didn't when I first read the world, read the word, and I thought it was fascinating and quite funny.

Good for it. In Elizabethan England, pamphleteering was a form of freelance writing that allowed individuals to express opinions, critique societal norms, or engage in public debates. Pamphlets were short, inexpensive publications that reached a broad audience, making them an effective medium for spreading ideas or stirring controversy.

Some pamphleteers, like Thomas Nash, earned money through commissions or sales, often working for patrons or political groups. Others self-published their work, driven by personal ambition or a desire to influence public opinion. Though not always a stable source of income, pamphleteering offered writers a platform to establish their reputation, contribute to intellectual discourse and occasionally provoke outrage.

So they were basically social media influencers slash content creators. Yeah, but I'm really here for this. I love it.

It's essentially like the modern day equivalent of a pamphleteer would be someone who contributes to an AI generated article on LinkedIn. Yeah, amazing. They've been around for a long time.

There's not new guys. There's not new. They provoke outrage.

Me anyway. I love it. Anyway, enough dilly-dallying.

Let's get back to the story. So after leaving Cambridge in 1587, Marlow wasted very little time in making his mark on the theatrical world. That very same year, his play, Tambulaine the Great.

That's what we're going with. Sounds about right. That's what we're going with.

Was performed to great acclaim. This work marked a turning point in English drama, introducing audiences to the grandeur of blank verse and a new standard of theatrical ambition. So Marlow's use of blank verse was groundbreaking.

At the time, English drama was dominated by rhymed verse or prose. Blank verse with its natural rhythm resembling everyday speech, allowed for greater emotional depth and complexity. Marlow's success with Tambulaine paved the way for a series of daring and provocative plays, including Dr Faustus, The Jew of Malta and Edward II.

In Dr Faustus, Marlow challenged religious orthodoxy by depicting a man who defies God to seek ultimate knowledge and power. The protagonist is a scholar who makes a pact with the devil, a theme that would have shocked contemporary audiences. In The Jew of Malta, the Jew of Malta, sorry, boldly critiqued religious hypocrisy and greed, using its protagonist to expose societal prejudices.

And Edward II broke new ground in its portrayal of power dynamics and personal relationships, particularly its nuanced depiction of a same-sex relationship, which was highly controversial for the time. Yeah, wow. So Marlow's plays were characterized by their larger-than-life protagonists.

He defied convention and grappled with existential dilemmas. His ability to blend classical influences with contemporary issues made his works both intellectually stimulating and dramatically compelling. Beyond his writing, Marlow was deeply connected to the vibrant literary and theatrical circles of London.

He collaborated and influenced many of his contemporaries, including Nash and Kidd. These relationships were not without tension as the competitive nature of the theatre world often led to fierce rivalries. Nevertheless, Marlow's contributions to the stage earned him a reputation as a trailblazer, setting the stage for future dramatists.

Enter stage left of William Shakespeare. So both Marlow and Shakespeare were born in 1564, but Marlow gained prominence first, establishing himself as a leading figure in Elizabethan drama, while Shakespeare was still just finding his footing. However, it is widely accepted that many of Shakespeare's early works reflect Marlow's innovations.

So again, Marlow's use of blank verse actually became a hallmark of Shakespeare's dramatic style. Similarly, Marlow's themes, especially around ambition and moral complexity, resonated with Shakespeare's like Macbeth and Richard II, you know? So while there is no evidence of a direct rivalry, Shakespeare's work often contained subtle references to Marlowe, such as in As You Like It, where the Dead Shepherd is believed to refer to Marlowe. The suggestion, this suggests a kind of recognition that Marlowe's contributions were really impactful and kind of almost like Shakespeare had an admiration for his talent.

Remember that, because we'll come back to it. Okay, all I'm going to say is, is saying it's hinting at a rivalry. Well, I've seen Shakespeare in Love and I would have you know, that actually, there's a bloody overt rivalry there.

Just saying. So Marlowe's personal life was as audacious as his plays. He was known for his sharp intellect, flamboyant personality and willingness to challenge authority.

Marlowe was frequently seen wearing jewel encrusted clothing, elaborate fabrics and other adornments that signaled wealth and status. His striking appearance combined with his sharp wit made him a charismatic figure in the Elizabethan society. Despite being the son of a shoemaker, cultivated an image of sophistication that helped him navigate the artistic and intellectual circles of London.

His love for fine living extended to his social habits. Marlowe was a regular presence in London's taverns where he mingled with other playwrights, actors and literary figures. These establishments were not merely places to drink, but hubs of creativity and debate where Marlowe's sharp tongue and confidence made him both respected and feared.

Marlowe's penchant for luxury often led him to live beyond his means. Way beyond his means. Vellying on patrons, friends and possibly being funded by another interested party in the government.

Like so his like. Yeah. Okay.

So we'll just get to what we're here for, right? As I mentioned, rumours followed Marlowe around. His life was steeped in speculation and one of the most enduring theories is that he worked as a spy for the Elizabethan government. While concrete evidence is elusive, several key details suggest Marlowe may have been more than just a playwright.

During his time at Cambridge, Marlowe frequently vanished for extended periods, leaving university authorities to wonder whether he was neglecting the terms of his scholarship. Such absences were highly unusual, particularly for a scholar whose education was funded by the Archbishop of Canterbury and indeed like the intention was that he would be ordained into the Church of England following graduation. So the situation reached a critical point in 1587 when the university considered withholding his master's degree.

The official reason cited was Marlowe's failure to meet the standard expectations for scholars, but this explanation was complicated by an extraordinary intervention. So the Privy Council issued a statement in his defence praising Marlowe for his faithful dealing in matters that had benefited her majesty. This phrase sparked intense speculation and still does among historians and it suggests, exactly what it says on the tin, that Marlowe was involved in secretive work that directly served the interests of Queen Elizabeth I. Good old Lizzie I. My favourite of the Queen's, I think.

Agreed. Her and her mother. Yeah, best two.

I like Catherine Howard's world book anyway. Okay, fair. It's not the time.

We'll discuss it later. We'll discuss it later. Some scholars argue that Marlowe's absences align with key intelligence activities of the time.

For instance, Cambridge was a known recruiting ground for Elizabethan spies who were often tasked with infiltrating Catholic networks abroad. Okay. So Marlowe's name appears in some records linked to a town in France, a city in France, that was a hotbed for English Catholics that were exiled and that were plotting against Elizabeth I. Right, so this connection suggests that he may have visited the city to gather intelligence or infiltrate Catholic networks, though no direct proof of his presence there has ever been uncovered.

And it is really the lack of direct proof that causes the most suspicion. Yeah, exactly. Any travel he undertook was overtly unrecorded, consistent with the secretive nature of espionage.

So yeah, basically the lack of documentation combined with the Privy Council's deliberate vagueness and just stepping in anyway really fuelled all the rumours about what he was up to. But if speculation about Marlowe's life was rife, the mystery surrounding his death would ensure his name echoed far beyond the Elizabethan stage. So on a late spring day in 1593, Christopher Marlowe walked into a tavern in Deptford, South London.

The establishment was owned by Eleanor Bull, a woman known for hosting patrons in need of a discreet meeting place. Marlowe arrived with three companions Ingraham Fritzer, Nicholas Skiers and Robert Poli. The four men spent hours together eating, drinking and, as the official record would later state, quarrelling.

By the end of the day, Marlowe was dead, killed by a dagger thrust into his right eye. So the events of that day, as recounted by the coroner's inquest, seemed almost mundane. According to the report, an argument erupted over what was titled The Reckoning, which boiled down to just dispute about who was going to pay the bill.

So Ingraham Fritzer claimed that Marlowe became violent, forcing him to act in self-defence. He stabbed Marlowe just above the eye, killing him instantly. The jury, when they spent the trial, accepted this account, brawling the death justifiable and Fritzer was actually completely pardoned shortly after.

Hang on. So, no, you had the mozzarella fries. Yeah.

So you have to pay. But you had calamari. But I wasn't drinking, I only had two direct drinks.

I'm going to stab you! Done. And then I can get off. Okay, amaze.

If I was a spy, maybe. But I'm not, I just had two black coke. Interesting.

But the simplicity of this explanation has troubled historians for centuries. The circumstances surrounding Marlowe's death, his companions, his controversial reputation and his precarious position in society suggest a far more complex story. So who was it that Marlowe was hanging out with on that day? So Ingram Fritzer was a servant and trusted agent of Thomas Walsingham.

Yeah. Who was a wealthy landowner and the cousin of Sir Francis Walsingham, Elizabeth I's spymaster. Unlike his more famous relative, Thomas's involvement in intelligence work was less direct, although his household frequently hosted individuals with connections to espionage.

Beyond his service to Walsingham, Fritzer was known as a property manager and legal intermediary, often handling financial and administrative affairs on behalf of his employer. Basically what I do. Nicholas Skiers was a shadowy figure in England at the time known for his involvement in schemes and intelligence work.

He was also a trusted advisor of Thomas Walsingham and played a role in exposing the Babington plot. A Catholic conspiracy to assassinate Queen Elizabeth I. Interesting. Despite or in spite, you might want to say his connections to espionage.

Skiers was also implicated in lots of financial fraud and other illicit activities. And last but not least, we have Robert Polley. So Robert Polley was a prominent agent in Elizabeth I's intelligence network known for his involvement in high profile operations.

Like Skiers, Polley played a key role in uncovering the Babington plot and often worked on covert assignments under Sir Francis. Polley was known to be a skilled manipulator adept at navigating the dangerous world of espionage and treachery. So they're all spies.

So yeah, they're not casual drinking buddies, are they? There are men accustomed to secrecy and intrigue. And to be honest as well, it's not like Marlowe's own life at that time wasn't fraught with danger over and above who he was hanging out with anyway. Okay.

So in the weeks leading up to Christopher Marlowe's death, a document emerged that would cast a long shadow over his already controversial reputation. Known as the Baines Note, this inflammatory manuscript accused Marlowe of heresy, blasphemy, and scorn for religious doctrine, presenting him as a figure who not only questioned societal norms but actively mocked them. The Note has become one of the most debated artifacts in Marlowe's story, both for its content and its role in the events surrounding his death.

So the document was named after Richard Baines, its author. Baines was a former acquaintance of Marlowe and an informer who had previously worked with the Elizabethan authorities on intelligence matters. Baines reportedly submitted the Note to the Privy Council in May 1593, just days before Marlowe's death.

Its contents read like a damning indictment alleging that Marlowe had openly rejected Christianity, denied the divinity of Christ, and even advocated for atheism, a dangerous charge in Elizabethan England, where such views were considered treacherous. I am going to have so much fun listening to Will edit this, going, a fucking Baines is having a go at people for not being quick, like, no, no, no historical relation of mine. So the Baines Note is filled with sensational accusations.

Amongst its claims, it alleges that Marlowe said, and I quote, the Bible is a mere fable. Jesus Christ was a bastard in his mother dishonest. And all those who love not tobacco and boys are fools.

Which is a tattoo I'm going to have. I love it. I love all those.

All those who not love tobacco and boys are fools. I'm gonna have it on my collar boat. That is brilliant.

I love it. I love it. Or have it as like a tramp stamp.

Yeah, so these statements, if true, obviously painted Marlowe, not only irreligious, but openly antagonistic towards the core values of Elizabethan society. The note also accused him of aligning with subversive elements, implying that his ideas posed a direct threat to social and religious order. So the timing of the Baines Note is obviously critical.

It surfaced shortly after Marlowe's associate, Thomas Kidd, had been arrested and tortured for allegedly possessing untoward material. Okay. Kidd implicated Marlowe during his interrogation, claiming that the offending writings belonged to the playwright.

Right, okay. Baines likely seized on this opportunity to further incriminate Marlowe, either out of personal animosity or to curry favour with authorities. At the time of the note submission, Marlowe had been summoned before the Privy Council and was under investigation for heresy.

If the council acted on the allegations in the Baines Note, Marlowe would have faced imprisonment or execution. The document's sudden appearance coupled with Marlowe's untimely death has led many to believe that it played a role in sealing his fate. Scholars continue to debate the motivations behind the Baines Note.

Some view it as a calculated attack by Baines to protect himself or settle a personal score. And others see it as part of a broader conspiracy to eliminate Marlowe completely. Right.

The tavern itself adds another layer of intrigue for the whole proceedings. I was going to ask, which pub is it? Is it still there? So it's Eleanor Ball's tavern in Deptford which was far from an ordinary public house, Okay. So located in Deptford, it was a gathering spot for those seeking privacy, a space where business deals could be negotiated, political matters discussed and secrets exchanged away from prying eyes.

Eleanor Ball was a well-connected widow with connections in London's social and political circles. This likely ensured that her establishment was viewed as a neutral ground. Yeah.

The choice of Eleanor Ball's tavern as the site of Marlowe's meeting has fueled speculation. Deptford, as a port town, was a liminal space, neither entirely urban or rural, close enough to London for accessibility, but removed from its immediate scrutiny. This geographical ambiguity mirrored the social and political ambiguity of the tavern's clientele.

It was a place where men like Fritsir Skiles and Polé, individuals with ties to espionage and courtly intrigue, would meet without drawing undue attention to themselves. So yeah, that's the tavern itself, which is still there. It's still in Deptford.

I was just going to ask, actually. Yes, it's called the Brookville. And I believe you know it.

I mean, I've had a roast dinner there. I have had a very nice meal there for somebody's 50th birthday. There we go.

Yes, it was very nice. So yeah, it's, you can go and chill out there. I love it when there are pubs.

Get stabbed in the eye. I love it when pubs are like still around. It just makes me happy.

Just the oldest thing in the world. Yeah, exactly. It's just like pubs.

God love them. Oh, pubs. It's what you're like.

Sorry, carry on. So yeah, so. The events of that day have left.

Listeners, I've tried to do this paragraph about 24 times. Because I think you were doing it right then. Take a running jumper.

Yeah, just scream it out. I just can't get my teeth in. The events of that day have left behind more questions than answers.

Why was Marlowe, who was already undescreeted for heresy, meeting these men at such a time? Was the dispute over the reckoning a convenient cover for for a premeditated act? The swift resolution of the case with Fritzer quickly pardoned suggests that powerful forces may have had a vested interest in ensuring the matter was closed without further investigation. I mean, it definitely sniffs of a cover up. So we get to my favourite part of all of this.

Okay. The theories and conspiracies. Excellent.

About Marlowe's death. And I've listed them all out for us. Very excited.

So number one, a political assassination. One of the most enduring theories is that Marlowe was silenced by powerful figures who saw him as a threat. His connections to the intelligence networks and his reputation for provocative heretical ideas made him a liability.

Some suggest that his knowledge of sensitive state secrets gathered during his suspected work as a spy may have led to his murder. Those who subscribe to this theory often point to Robert Poli, a seasoned agent of the Crown, as the likely orchestrator of the whole event. Number two.

Was it revenge for heresy? Okay. Marlowe's alleged atheism and blasphemy detailed in the Baines note could have provoked violent retaliation. In Elizabethan England, challenging religious orthodoxy was tantamount to treason.

Marlowe's outspoken nature and willingness to mock sacred doctrines may have made him enemies within the church or amongst devout factions who sought to punish him for his perceived irreverence. I would like to be punished for my perceived irreverence. Don't perceive me.

Number three. Espionage gone wrong. Okay.

The presence of Ingram Fritzer, Nicholas Skiers and Robert Poli, men with ties to the Elizabethan intelligence community, has led some to suspect that Marlowe's death was the result of a failed mission or internal betrayal within the spy network. Perhaps a deal had gone awry or Marlowe's usefulness to the Crown had expired, making him expendable. Number four.

Alguably the simplest and most boring. Explanation is the official account. Yeah.

That Marlowe's death was the result of a drunken argument over the reckoning. Now forever, just just to let it be known. Any bill is called the reckoning.

Can I get the reckoning, please? Fad, look at the time. Can we get the Reckoning! I got last week's Reckoning! You get this one. I'm going to start doing it.

The Reckoning! It's a lot cheaper than I thought it was going to be for how much dim sum we had. It really was, it really was. Do you know what though? Because it would take a little while for Will to edit this, I'm just going to not tell him about it.

Just start calling it a Reckoning. Oh, I have so much joy. It's such stupid things.

The number... Whether it was self-defense or just a fight that went wrong or whatever. Boring! Number five is that it was a warning to others that some historians speculate that Marlowe's death was staged as a warning to other writers, intellectuals or descenders. Descenters, even.

His outspoken criticism of religion and authority could have made him an example for others who might be considering challenging the status quo. And number six, one of the more radical theories is that Marlowe faked his own death in order to escape the charges of heresy and potential execution. So proponents of this theory argue that his alleged atheism and controversial writings made him a target and disappearing was his only chance for survival.

Some even suggest that Marlowe continued to write under a pseudonym. Yes. And now we enter... I get to say my favourite thing ever.

Is Christopher Marlowe actually William Shakespeare? So here's the evidence cited by proponents of the theory. Go on. Number one, the timing of Shakespeare's emergence.

Marlowe's death in 1593 coincides with the earliest known works attributed to Shakespeare, including Venus and Adonis and the rape of Luke. Luke, I can never say it. I don't know.

L-U-C-R-E-C-E. Oh, no, I can't pronounce it. I can't pronounce it.

That one. Yep. Some theorists argue that the sudden rise of Shakespeare as a literary figure immediately after Marlowe's death is suspicious.

Number two in the evidence is that Shakespeare's early works reflect Marlowe's style almost exactly. Yeah, yeah. Critics have noted not just some similarities, but like direct.

Direct, what was it? Copy. Yeah, yeah, yeah. In style, language and themes between Marlowe's works and Shakespeare's earliest plays.

For instance, there's the use of blank verse which I spoke about earlier, the exploration of ambition in Macbeth, the depictions of moral and existential dilemmas like Hamlet, Mira Marlowe's trademarks that had been seen in all of his work. Number three is Shakespeare's limited biographical details. Okay.

So there is a lack of substantial records about Shakespeare's life and education and it's led some to speculate that he may have been the front for another writer. This gap in documentation is frequently cited as a reason to believe Marlowe could have assumed Shakespeare's identity after faking his death. I mean, I love it, but it's also 1590 odd like.

References in Shakespeare's plays also play a part in this evidence. Supporters point to perceived illusions to Marlowe in Shakespeare's plays. As I said earlier, there's the reference in As You Like It.

And additionally, there's frequent use of themes of exile, disguise and rebirth in all of Shakespeare's works. Yeah. And they're seen as symbolic of Marlowe's supposed survival and reinvention.

I mean, it would be awesome if that is true and it's all just one big Easter egg. So like there's one last bit that, you know, it's all a bit of a joke, right? But then you go. So the last piece of evidence is probably the only one I'm like, makes sense.

Okay, okay. So yeah, Shakespeare's work often reflects a really deep understanding of courtly politics and espionage. So believers in the theory suggest that Marlowe's suspected connections to the Elizabethan intelligence network could explain this insight attributing it to his personal experience rather than Shakespeare's, who we don't know what he was doing.

I mean, I kind of desperately want it to be true. I kind of feel like, you know how some people have, there's that one conspiracy hill that they'll die on. I'm happy for this to be my one.

This and the one that Kirk Boehm was actually murdered by Courtney Love. But anyway, give Courtney a break. I just read a very well-written book that persuaded me.

Anyway, allegedly, I'm happy for this to be the conspiracy hill that I die on because it's just fucking brilliant. But like, do they look alike? No, but that's not the point. You don't need to see someone's face to read their work.

No, it's true. So we think that he's hired somebody to be. Was it that William Shakespeare is a real person and wanted to be famous but had no discernible talent.

Marlowe's got himself writing the shit here. Wants to keep writing but doesn't want to live his life anymore. So goes and lives wherever he lives.

Sends his manuscripts to Shakespeare. Oh, Bill's having a great time. Oh, I like it.

I like it. It's plausible. It's very plausible.

But of course, we're all rational human beings and there are very clear and reasonable challenges to this theory. But I like the Easter eggs. Namely, there is absolutely no concrete documentation or evidence to support the idea that Marlowe survived the attack or that he ever wrote again under any other name or anything like that.

And if you add into it, Marlowe's notoriety and controversial reputation, it would have made him very difficult. It would have made it very difficult for him to live in hiding. Let alone assume another identity or stay under the radar for that long.

Just be like, oh no, my new name is Bill. You can call me The Bard. So Christopher Marlowe's life and death remain a testament to the complexity and intrigue of Elizabethan England.

A man of towering intellect and daring ambition, Marlowe not only reshaped English drama but also challenged societal norms and the status quo at every turn. His pioneering works broke boundaries, inspiring contemporaries and cementing Marlowe's place in literary history. Yet it is the mysteries surrounding his death that elevate Marlowe from a brilliant playwright to an enduring enigma.

Was he the victim of political intrigue, a target of religious revenge or simply a man undone by his own fiery temper? Theories of assassination, espionage and even a fake death highlight the many lives Marlowe seemed to lead, scholar, playwright and perhaps spy. These unanswered questions ensure that Marlowe's story continues to captivate, leaving a legacy as bold and provocative as the man himself. In the end, Christopher Marlowe's life was much a work of art as the plays he created, a life that inspires not just admiration but endless fascination.

Very well done. Here we go. Very good.

We like. That made me very happy because there were loads of my favourite things in it. There was South London, there were pubs, there was Elizabethan England, Shakespeare and the new epitaph that I now want on my tombstone, which is she was an enduring enigma killed by the reckoning.

100% that is going in my will. Yeah, I know. I want my cause of death to be one reckoning too many.

Oh, I love it. Oh, mate, well researched. Very good.

I thought you might like it. I was going to ask you whether you prefer, like in your fantasy, whether me reading about and researching about Elizabethan England or the Halloween me reading about ghost stories. Oh God.

What gets you off the most? I mean, it's a very close call. I'm not going to lie. I think if we can get will to put those ridiculous sound effects on your reading of this, then that done.

Oh, no, don't say it because he'll do it now. He's had his five minutes. He's had a taste of power has gone to his head.

No, that was really, really good. I like hearing about the stuff that I'm interested in. And that sounds really stupid.

But it's like, I like doing historical cases because I like getting into it. But I kind of feel like I look at it and slightly too much of an analytical way. Whereas I think that like.

Listening to it from a novice. I get to the fun of it. Oh, wow.

But to be fair, how hard would you have to stab someone just above the eye? Like that's both. Some say above the eyes, but if you think just. Yeah, it probably went in the orbital under the orbital bone.

So I was going to say like, how much was the reckoning? They had been eating and drinking all day. It's true. It's true.

And to be fair, in Deptford, it's you know how those bills rack up to. I do. I also absolutely adore the fact that there is a Baines who is really religious because that just made my absolute day.

Something to annoy my husband. But no, that was really interesting. I'd never heard that the conspiracy theory that he was Shakespeare.

I have heard the rumors that Shakespeare just blatantly copied him. Well, a lot. This is really interesting.

I was talking to my cousin at Christmas and she's doing an English degree at the moment. And they did. The best people do.

Oh, Jesus. You and her talking together. You're both very interesting people.

I'm not bad mouthing her at all. I love her and she's a little diamond. But yeah, I'd have to be fucking hammered.

That reckoning would be high that day. I'd roll that reckoning up and do class A's with it. To get me through.

That's a joke mum. Allegedly. She was saying that they did their Shakespeare module.

And I can't remember whether she said it was his later work or his earlier work and it's all just stolen. Yeah, all plagiarised. Loads of it is just like, that wasn't yours.

That wasn't yours. There's so much like it. And I think that this is the thing and this is what I was getting out with the whole like, how the hell did he go to university and do a masters and stuff? It just feels like it's so long ago that absolutely everything about these people has become myth and legend.

And like, so trying to actually get a proper understanding of like and to be fair back then you get away with fucking anything like clicking around it, clicking around it. So look, wasn't it back? Like that bit, what's now the corridor, that used to be like, that used to be the kitchen or something like that, she said, or the home economics room. I was like, we didn't.

This is an ongoing argument. I've never done home in an economics lesson. We didn't have home.

We didn't have it. We didn't have a kitchen in that school. No, we didn't.

She was like, it's always been there. That's where it was always been. I was like, no, I could tell you what was there because that was the drama room.

That was the corridor we used to line up in. And that was the teachers smoking room. That was the teachers smoking room.

And I remember Mr Thunder coming out of that room in a plume of smoke. And it was disgusting. You'd used to hate queuing up the drama because it'd be like, yeah, it was horrible.

But it was also like, what was the random storage room that we found? And then that's because we found that little storage room by the smoking room. And that's why we would go in there and smoke because they wouldn't know it was us because we were right next to the teachers. We're doing band practice.

None of us playing them. We need gravely voices. This is part of the creative process.

I have loads of random little flashbacks to when I was in school. Isn't also that queuing outside that drama room as it was then. Is that not infamously where we had our first ever conversation? Yes.

Yes. Also running up to the drama room. No lies not up to the drama.

Down to the drama room, if anything. It was down the stairs. Yeah, it was downstairs from the main entrance.

You know how it would be like... Do you remember where the resources centre was? Sorry, Travers. The resources centre. You and me.

We were round by the courtyard and we were at my locker. It was yellow. And you had to walk around the courtyard a bit.

Can't say her name. That girl's one was right there. We'd run around there and then you'd get to double sets of doors and there was a set of the doors that went upstairs here.

And then this way you got to mischoose silence room, the DT lab and all of that. Vivid memory. You and me, when we were friends, year sevens queuing up for Mischoose lesson.

You and I just were going fuck it, do it as loudly as you can. And we just ran past all these year sevens screaming I cry when angels deserve to die. Fucking gee.

Oh my god, we would have been like we're so cool. So cool. This was back in the day when my DT thing was covered in Pandora's from comics and Marilyn Manson pictures.

Oh my dear god. How funny. But no, the Gadsden Cup.

I literally know what part did I play? You were one of Beth's men. I can't remember. I also love how you were talking about your cousin doing an English literature degree and it's like, yeah, well, they've done their Shakespeare module why do we still do a Shakespeare module? I think, well, from what she was saying, they still do it as like, oh, because it's traditionally great example of English language changing as well from their prose and rhyming to a normal speech pattern kind of writing.

Yeah. But also, I think so that they can investigate the the kind of no, brain stopped. So they just, I could hear, I could hear the literally just stopped.

Power off. Hard reset. Yeah, so they can investigate the copying.

I can't think of a better word. Plagiarism. Plagiarism, that's what I'm trying to say.

Plagiarism. As well, and use it as find examples of this in modern day stuff as well. Do you know what, mate? This has been a romp.

I'm very happy. I've now got so many fucking memories of school swirling around my brain, which is and the fact that I can literally see it all, but your old memory is so much better than mine. I do have a bit of a, I've got one of those stupid photographic memories.

Whereas I don't remember a lot, but the things I do remember. Very clearly. Yeah.

So like another person that we can't name bringing in the the thermos for their diabetes and it just being full of vodka. Oh my God. When we got pissed in biology, were you part of that? When we had to? No, I don't.

No, no, no. You guys all got pissed. I was miss goody two shoes.

I was like, no, because I'll also get caught and then I'll get kicked out. I wonder why that happens. And we had to do some sort of.

I feel like you bought that on yourself. We had to dissect something. Was it an eyeball? No, we weren't.

It was something. It was we were fucking measuring each other. We had to do.

We had a tape measure. We're in groups and I was in a group with thermos girl and yeah, thermos girl sidekick. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

And it was the three of us like per use. Yeah. Oh yeah, I remember per use and we all had to like you had to stand on the scales.

We all had a tape measure. Yeah. How high? I remember.

I remember thermos girl being like I'm not standing on the wasn't thermos goes thermal the star of thermos sidekicks descent into maybe into horrific men eating sort of. That's true. But that was the day that she had it.

It wasn't a thermos. She had bottles of leucazade with the old like remember the old label was completely bottles of leucazade, which actually was just full of white wine. And we didn't have a thermos.

We had double double. Yeah, yeah, all the time. But we had double biology with a break.

Yes, yes, yes, yes. I mean, we'd sipped a bit in the first bit. Yep.

I remember being like, and then we went and sat on the bridge during the bridge and downed a litre of white wine. I know. I turned up as you were down fucking hammered.

I turned up as you were downing it and was just like, are you guys all right? She will be a bit funny. And then thermos girl told me and was like, have a sip. And I had a sip and then went, oh, I don't like it.

Because even back then, not a big wine drinker. Just needs a little bit of sugar. Bit of fizz.

Yeah, no, I'm thinking with the dissecting was when I was in my other school. My the school that I wasn't kicked out or was on the hill. Hors on the hill.

Yep. And there was a girl called Martha who we don't mind just fucking naming Martha then. No, because she won't.

She will not listen to this. She will not. But there's a girl called Martha who there was another girl come over her name, but was really, really squeamish.

We had sheep's eyeballs that we had to dissect. And there was another girl who was really, really squeamish and didn't want to do it. And so Martha, Martha ended up getting like four of them that she dissected with the little slit, turned them inside out, put them on her fingers and chased this girl around the lab.

That is hilarious. It was amazing. That is so funny.

There are moments between my two schools. But it's so funny. Come in, look, come in.

Or the time that we had a teacher, Mr Eperon, and he handed me a load of splints for science to light the Bunsen burners with and he handed them to me and I was walking and he was like, go and distribute these. And I was walking around and he thought he was really funny. And he was like, Rachel, I said, they're called splints, not spliffs.

Make sure you don't drop any. It's like, don't know what you've read in my file. Oh, but it's incorrect.

Have we ever told the story? Oh, we don't. Maybe save it for another time. I was going to say that might be a Patreon.

That might be a Patreon. Oh, well, thank you for the story. Well, look, in between Damolodar and what I'm doing next.

Yeah, we needed this. We needed a bit of light release. I needed this.

We can't have another October. No, no, no, please. No, we will not.

Podcast staffically recover from this. Love it. Podcastally.

I know. Play Tiger King, Rachel. The best jokes when you explain them.

Oh, right. Trevor's sorry. This is absolute chaos.

But as Hunter says, it is needed. And hopefully you will come along on that passion mental. Trip down memory lane.

There we go. We've got a website. You can go and have a look at it.

We've got an Instagram. You can come and join it. We've got an email address.

You can send Hannah message and she might read it. I reply to it though. We've got a TikTok where nothing happens and we've got a Facebook group where you can go and talk to other lovely Travis.

But yeah, I think that's all that's left to say is to sort of be like peace out. Love you. Sounds good to me.

Cool. We'll do it out. Goodbye.